Tubing in the Vang Vieng

Most places we have been so far hand out free maps when you arrive. These maps are quite handy, pointing out things like banks, ATMs, pharmacies, restaurants, points of interest and temples. Vang Vieng was much the same: we arrived and were handed a map. Though on closer inspection we noticed something: the start point for tubing and plenty of bars were clearly marked, but not a single temple or cultural place. I like to think that pretty much says it all. Welcome to Vang Vieng.

Beautiful scenery around Vang Vieng

But first, let me start with how we got to Vang Vieng. Seven hours from hell is how. Remember I had a tummy bug in Luang Prabang, so I hadn't been well. Well, the next seven hours from Luang Prabang consisted of a me trying to hold down everything as we weaved and bounced our way along a narrow, badly rutted road, twisting up over mountains, passing through dirt poor villages and dodging trucks, bicycles, potholes and cattle. Oh, and that's the main highway.

So after finding a guesthouse and having a wee lie down waiting for the queasiness from our bus ride to pass, we left to find dinner. Stepping out onto the dirt lane outside our guesthouse we had to jump back as a tuk-tuk roared past with two drunk girls, beers in hand, hanging out the sides chanting at the top of their voices "Let's get f***ing munted! Let's get f***ing munted!". You stay classy Vang Vieng.

We walked out onto the main street of the tourist area, which runs along the riverside. Restaurants opened onto the street, and low tables and pillows sat inside while Friends, Family Guy or South Park played. We wandered around, checking out the area. A young Brit slurred at us to drink at his bar, we smiled and walked on. Passing one of the tubing shopfronts I paused to read the sign. A girl noticed my interest and tried helping "Don't bother with the tubing, if you don't return it before 6 they take your money. Just take a tuk-tuk up to the bars and get smashed. Heaps cheaper!"
"Thanks" I smiled at her and walked off.

We slept in until mid-day, as you do in Vang Vieng, then hired bicycles for the afternoon. We wanted to go see the blue lagoon and cave which was somewhere on the other side of the river. We set off with a really basic map from the bike shop and cycled along the river front before crossing a one-lane wooden bridge. From there, the road turned to gravel and we cycled through a small village which turned into rice fields which lay bare in the summer sun. We entered a wide valley and on either side of us were jagged tree-covered limestone cliffs. Every few hundred metres, signs in broken English claimed to be 'the' blue lagoon and/or cave and to turn off but we cycled on in the humid heat.

Speedy Sarah

We'd only been cycling for maybe half-an-hour when we came across a wee shack on the side of the road selling food and drink. We stopped to grab some much needed icy cold water and rest in the shade. The owner, a friendly old Thai man, asked where we were headed and upon telling him he offered to draw us a map, saying there's a lot of fake blue lagoons and they're all "shit". His map saved us, as we found the lagoon about an hour later. Except it wasn't a lagoon, in fact it's actually just a very blue swimming hole in a creak, still it was incredibly refreshing to escape the heat. After cooling off we headed up to the cave, it was huge, with a small golden reclining Buddha laying in the middle on a natural raised platform. We only went a hundred metres in, carefully placing every foot, dodging huge boulders but by that point it was pitch black and I could hear bats. I wasn't going any further! We turned around and headed back to Vang Vieng.

Finally we had come to the last thing on the must do list for Vang Vieng: tubing. After some procrastination we couldn't put it off any longer, it was now or never. We donned our trusty half-moon singlets (already covered in paint so a bit more wouldn't hurt) and once again psyched ourselves up for the madness that was sure to follow and went to hire a tube. Two men sat behind a wooden desk collecting money while half a dozen locals sat along the wall watching us. After paying an absurd amount of money (for Laos) we were loaded onto a tuk-tuk, our inner-tubes thrown on the roof, and we headed out of town.

We turned off ten minutes later and bounced down a gravel road, coming to a stop next to the river. Music blared from over the water and voices shouted. Taking our inner tubes we walked past a bamboo stall selling cocktails, a sign warning tubers not to give money to begging children and crossed a hacked-together rickety wooden bridge to the first bar. Our inner-tubes stacked we were greeted by bar-staff who tied colourful cotton bracelets onto our wrists (the aim of the game - see how many you can collect) and offered us free whiskey shots. We declined, ordered Beerlao and found a spot in the hot sun. Bars sat mostly empty on both sides of the river, desperate for low-season customers and a few people played on rope swings and flying foxes. A couple of tubers floated past, down to the next bar where a rope was flung out and they were pulled in, given more colourful bracelets and free whisky shots. We decided to follow.

The rest of the afternoon we moved from bar to bar via inner-tube, collecting bracelets, playing games, drinking Beerlao and noticing that at some bar-staff were more drunk than customers! We ended up joining a group of English guys and floated, chatted and watched the scenary pass by. The bars became few and far between, fifteen or twenty minutes floating before the next one, and the light began to fade. We started hoping we weren't too far from town. A smart tuk-tuk driver sat by the river with a sign saying '2 km to town'. The English guys said 'sod that' and got out, but Jade and an Australian couple we'd picked up along the way reckoned we weren't that far, so we kept going. They were wrong. Night came with no sign of Vang Vieng and we floated along in the dark, alone. It felt like we were on the river forever and after at least another hour past the 2km sign, I was desperate to get out. We drifted along, chatting amongst ourselves while keeping an eye out for any source of light or sound. Then finally, lights! I was so happy, we paddled over to the riverbank and scrambled up the side and walked soaking wet back into town. We silently dropped off our inner-tubes off, collected what remained of the bond (they deduct you the later you get back) and squelched back to our room.

Next morning we got up early, packed and went to find breakfast. The town was dead. We grabbed breakfast and got on a minivan out of there. Another four hour drive south to the capital Vientiane lay ahead of us. Oh goody.

It would turn out to be worse than we expected.

Tuk-tuk, Waterfall?

We'd just gotten off the two-day slow boat from Thailand when a tout hands us a card for his guesthouse and cries "very cheap!". We ignore him, but his map proves useful for finding the backpacker accommodation area. Then as we're walking along the street a voice cries out "Jade!" from behind and we spin around to see Sarah, Jade's cousin, running barefoot towards us, her feet oiled up. Her and her husband Brock had been having a foot massage and she'd seen us walk by. We knew they'd arrived in Luang Prabang a few days earlier, but we weren't expecting to bump into them straight off the boat! Wow, it was good to see some familiar faces.

Luang Prabang

Monks at dawn collecting their alms 

We made plans to meet up with them at a bar later that night and continued on our search for accommodation. A few hours later we caught up with them at the bar and met two friends of theirs, Rhian and Cassandra. We had a few drinks, traded some stories and agreed to meet up the next day.

The main street in Luang Prabang is filled with tuk-tuk drivers. Every time you walk past a driver they'll ask in one short breath: "tuk-tuk waterfall?". Every single driver, all the way down the road, "Tuk-tuk waterfall?". When late afternoon rolls around, they change their strategy, "tuk-tuk airport tomorrow?". Finally evening comes with one last proposition "Tuk-tuk bowling?". Luang Prabang tuk-tuk's: they've got all your bases covered.

The group of us met up the next day at a coffee shop and decided to make a tuk-tuk drivers day when we finally accepted his offer of "tuk-tuk waterfall?". Jade and Brock haggled the price down and we set off for Kuang Si Falls. At the entrance to the park we had lunch then checked out a Bear Rescue Sanctuary which houses Asian sun bears rescued from poachers. We watched them climb, play, but mostly just snooze before heading up the valley to the waterfall.

Beautiful blue clear water cascaded down the hillside, splashing onto little terraces and pools. It was beautiful and probably the nicest waterfall we've seen. One of the lower pools had a rope swing and was deep enough to swim in, but we kept going to the bottom of the main waterfall. There we watched as it plunged down off the hill above us, into a small lake, sparkling in the sunlight, with butterflies darting all around us. We decided we wanted to walk to the top and after a steep, sweaty twenty minute climb through the humid forest, we made it up but couldn't see the waterfall. Oh well. We took a few group photos then carefully walked back down the muddy track and followed the creek back down the valley. Hot and sweaty from our walk, we stopped at the swimming hole which was crowded with people. We striped off and tested out the water in the lower pool - freezing, and then it started raining heavily. The crowds disappeared and we were left alone, so we covered our bags and dived in (you gotta do these things right?). After playing on the rope swing, almost getting frost bite and having our toes nipped at by freshwater crabs we headed back to our patiently waiting tuk-tuk driver to take us back home.

We went to grab some lunch the next day at a small restaurant Sarah and Brok said made good Tom Yum soup. We were handed a menu of four dishes, all written in broken English. My eyes landed on "Length with pork and retreat". What? Now, I'm rather partial to pork noodle soups so we asked the Laos woman what this dish was. Her English was limited, but she bought over some noodles. Ahh, 'length' was noodles. "Retreat?" we asked next. "Same, same" she replied. With a shrug I ordered it. She set my bowl of steaming hot length with pork and retreat in front of me and I realised 'retreat' wasn't 'same, same' as noodles. It wasn't same same at all: it was jellied pork-blood. Yummy! I took a couple of tentative sips before Jade took pity on me and swapped his soup with mine.

We were getting on really well with Rhian and Cassandra so after Sarah and Brock left we decided to hang out for the day and take a trip to a silk craft workshop. We got a tuk-tuk there and were given a free tour of the whole silk weaving process - how it's produced, harvested and dyed, before being shown around some of the silk looms as local woman weaved. We finished off at the shop, then had tea at the on site cafe overlooking the Mekong.

Silk worm cocoons

Naturally dyed silk

At night, one of the little alleyways in town is transformed into vegetarian buffet central - a vegetarians dream! For 10,000 kip ($1.50) you pile your plate with the many different salads, veggies, fruits and fried fritters that each stall has on offer (you have to pay more if you want meat though). Perhaps not a place I would have chosen on my own: a buffet that sat out in the open, with no coverings and no locals ate there. But we were with a group who all wanted to go and had been the previous nights had been fine, so we followed the crowd.

We're not entirely sure whether it was the vegetarian buffet, the Indian we'd eaten for lunch or just a random tummy bug but the next day Rhian and I weren't feeling the best. It wasn't until that night that things really took a turn for the worst though and we were up all night. The next day didn't pan out particularly any better and both of us spent the entire day in bed while the rest went off on a bike ride. We both finally made it out of bed the following day and stumbled down the road to the blissfully cool air conditioned coffee shop, where we sat until the evening. Rhian and Cassandra had to leave the following day and we were also planning on leaving too but with what everyone had described as the worst bus trip in the world to Vang Vieng in front of us, I really did not feel up to going anywhere.

We ended up having to stay an extra 3 days in Luang Prabang as I recovered from my bout of sickness, spending most of our time at the coffee shop. Eventually I recovered enough for us to leave, so we purchased tickets for a minivan to Vang Vieng from our guesthouse. The next morning we were picked up and driven 15 minutes through the city, only to be dumped at the bus station and handed "VIP" bus tickets. Customer service, Laos style. We sat in the open-air bus station watching carpenters violate every non-existent health and safety code replacing a snapped column holding up the station roof. Eventually our "VIP" bus was ready and we were off to Vang Vieng, probably the most infamous small town in Southeast Asia.

Boy were we in for a shock.

Goodbye Thailand, Sabai Dee Laos

Several hours north of Chiang Mai sits Chiang Rai: the smaller, quieter and more laid-back northern sibling. It's also not far from where Thailand, Laos and Myanmar meet with the Mekong River. Since we were heading through to Laos, Chiang Rai made a nice last stop in Thailand before we jumped the border.

One of the things we seem to do when we turn up to a new town, is to have a wander around in the evening and see what we can find. We don't really pay attention to guidebooks so it was a bit of a surprise when we stumbled across the main clock tower in the centre of town. It's a golden monstrosity covered in coloured LED lights, with the middle of the tower hollow. We laughed at the tackiness while wondering why a busload of Japanese tourists were standing around. Then the clock struck 9pm and music started to play. For the next ten minutes, lights flashed and changed colour in time with the music, some kind of gold egg descended and opened up to reveal what looked like a big jewel inside, then it closed and was taken back up inside the clock. We couldn't believe what we had seen. Come on Oamaru, while the Opera House does have lights it certainly doesn't have a musical show. If Chiang Rai can do it, I think you should too!

Since we were in Northern Thailand, there was some slightly different food from the South. A bit like Southland and its cheese rolls, but slightly more varied. The delicious dish of Khao Soi (pronounced 'Cow Soy') is what we went in search of one day, and after asking our guest house where the best was we found it was just down the road, jackpot! A yummy mild chicken curry noodle soup served with crispy noodles, pickled cabbage and lime, the guest house did not lie when they said this was the best. We even went back the next day. You'll find it at a blue coloured restaurant on Jet Yot St opposite Wangcome Hotel - and you should definitely hunt it down if you're ever in the area, so good!

Once again I was talked into hiring a scooter - but I'll admit it's a good thing we did else we probably wouldn't have seen the White Temple. It was spectacular, like stepping into a fairy tale: a temple unlike any we've seen before. Completely white and covered with tiny squares of mirrored glass, the whole temple shimmered in the sunlight. A bridge over a pond to get inside is guarded by fierce looking guardians and hundreds of concrete hands reaching up to grab at your ankles. You just can't take your eyes off it, it's so pretty yet scary. Inside the temple an artist was hard at work painting the walls. But they're not your traditional pictures, instead he's incorporated pop-culture icons along with his own tradtional buddhist interpretations. Unfortunately no photographs are allowed inside, but we found everything from Superman to Caption Jack Sparrow, Michael Jackson to Dragon Ball Z, a pair of Converse Sneakers, Angry Birds, Sailor Moon, Harry Potter and much more!

Not too far from the temple was also a national park, so we got back on our scooter and headed off to check it out. As we zipped along the quiet back road, green rice paddies swooshed by. Then the rice paddies became hills, forests and small villages as the late afternoon sun dropped behind them. The sealed road became covered in potholes and we had to slow down, moving out of the way of approaching cars. Not far from the park entrance we passed a large creek running alongside the road. Hundreds of locals were cooling off, swimming, floating on tyre tubes, having picnics and relaxing in the shade of the trees. By the time we made it to the park entrance it was about 4pm and the guards waved us away. They didn't speak any english so we're not exactly sure why but it was probably closed for the night. Oh well, we turned around and headed back to the creak we had passed on the way, it seemed that was the place to be anyway.

A bunch of food stalls were set up on the opposite side of a shallow section of the creek, looking out over little bamboo platforms which floated on stones above the water. Small bamboo bridges had been built across the two sides and waitresses hurried across with food and drink while diners dangled their feet in the water. We stopped to have a drink, and watched locals bring out bottles of Thai whiskey, drink, eat, talk, laugh and lay around. Now that's definitely the smart way to do it in the heat of summer!

We left Chiang Rai and caught a local bus to Chiang Khong, a small town on the banks of the Mekong River and our final quick stop in Thailand before heading into Laos. Crossing the border into Laos is pretty much the only reason people go there, and from the other side there's two options: head up into northern Laos, or go to Luang Prabang. We were heading to Luang Prabang as Jade's cousin and her husband were there, so we decided on a two-day slow boat down the Mekong River. It sounded nice and relaxing.

Back in Chiang Khong there were visa and slow-boat trip packages advertised everywhere. Since we were sure we'd pay more to book a package rather than doing it all ourselves, we opted to do it ourselves. Doing it ourselves involved: purchasing lunch, getting to the pier, stamping out of Thailand, taking a boat two minutes over the river to Laos, purchasing a Laos visa, getting a songteaw ten minutes up the road to the docks and finally purchasing a boat ticket to Luang Prabang. It all went off without a hitch, but we saved maybe 50 baht ($2). Next to nothing, but we had the advantage of not having to wait on people, so we arrived first and got good seats right up the front of the boat. If we had booked a package we would have been one of the last on the boat and stuck right down the end near the motor, believe me, you do not want that! So, if you want my advice just get up early and get to the boarder crossing by 8am. It's all easy peasy from there. Just remember to be stamped out of Thailand!

We thought the boat would be nice and relaxing and a great way to see the scenery. Our first day on the boat was exactly that. We saw little villages along the way, children playing on the river banks and buffalo bathing in the river. The jaggered rocks and tree covered mountains were a lovely backdrop and the whole thing was quite enjoyable. As dusk fell we arrived at the midway point - Pakbeng, a tiny village wedged high up between a hill and the river. We got off the boat, haggled for a room, managing to get one for 150 baht (NZ$6). It was clean, comfortable, had a hot shower and it was the cheapest accomodation we'd ever paid for! So it was pretty good for it's price. The next morning we hoped back on the boat looking forward to our second day but they'd changed boats on us. It was the same size as the day before except they'd squeezed in a lot of extra seats so we were completely wedged in and could barely move. Not great when this was going to be 9 hours, longer than the day before. There actually weren't even enough seats for everyone, so some got off and opted to take a speedboat instead.

Our boat waiting to depart

Leaving Pakbeng for our second day

The day drifted by (sorry, couldn't help myself) and everyone either slept, read or watched the scenery. The boat would occasionally stop at small villages in the middle of nowhere and locals would hop on or off. The occasional group of kids swimming would yell and wave at us, and occasionally we'd navigate shallow rapids through steep rocky gorges. By late afternoon we were feeling restless, tired and sore. The mountains had diminished in size, the Mekong spread itself out and slowed down, and we started to see more signs of life. A couple of large villages, then a few buildings watching down from in-between trees. It was beautiful, but we couldn't wait to get off the boat. The boat finally moored, we dug our backpacks out from the pile and jumped off into a buzzing crowd of touts. Welcome to Luang Prabang, Laos everybody.